I hadn’t meant for the the pause to be for so long. I didn’t show up daily, at least not here. Something felt off and I thought taking a moment to collect myself would help to reorient my ideas and my writing. The opposite started to happen.

While pausing this practice without another in its place, thoughts and considerations began to cue up. What emerged was not a time of reflection, but a feeling of stagnation. Thoughts piling up on top of each other started to make associations with each other. They were artificial associations that started to shape into relationships that were affecting my insight and judgment.

What was also affected was my misperception of the urgency of things in the world and the decisions that needed to be made. There were growing volumes of what a dear friend calls, “loose worry”, worry for the sake of worry or concern that is an abstraction of thoughts not a response to experience.

The last few entries into this practice have been exploring concepts of language and meaning. I have been nibbling at the edges of the expression of intimacy in the world and within myself and I do believe that I am on to something. I don’t want, however, to get caught up in intellectual arguments as a result of loose worry about being “right” or understood.

Through experience I have become fascinated with the way that humans show up for the conversations in their lives. I am particularly intrigued by the way that we choose to hold our ends of them. Again and again I come back to the realization that when I feel stagnant in my life, when I feel stuck in a project, it has everything to do with my own relationship to the conversation at hand.

Language is everything and everything is language. It is an an important distinction. It can also fall into the trappings of a truism. I want to be careful not to get stuck in this conversation. Language, especially new language, provides freedom and awareness as we move through the world. I want to explore the qualitative aspects of our languaging as well as the practices and processes we can build on.

The conversational nature of reality is affected by the linguistic nature of our experience.

The way that we choose to communicate, the way that we have agency and capacity to communicate directly affects, not the outcome of the conversation, but the opportunities that become possible resulting from it.

The language we use in the face of the unknown is not only our responsibility, but our legacy. The time we spend to develop our linguistic capacity is time spent touching into our own divinity and source of power. With it, we can step down into the world and offer and invite and play with the unknown.