Today the bombs in Brussels blew apart any illusions about the level and intensity of anger in the world. I had to stop following any kind of news about this event because the conversation centered on the same video footage played over and over and the same sound bites inflaming more violence from the perpetrators of this cruel act as well as repetitive commentary that served only to reinforce the fear and distrust that created the conditions which predicated this horrific act to begin with.

Where was the discussion of the historical and culture pressures and imbalances that created the fertile conditions for this kind of hate and violence? The loudest voices condemned the actions and mourned the loss of life, but do they? Really? What is a better honor and memorial to these lost lives? Instead of repeating the shaky details of this particular moment over and over every 5 minutes on the feed, how about also including some deep inquiry and analysis, a recognition of our own culture’s part in this so called war on terror. Why can’t we broadcast that pointing fingers in blame and advocating more violence based on arbitrary metrics is so terribly short sighted and small minded that it should be beneath us as a modern society.

I was in Italy on the October day we publicly started bombing Afghanistan. I was walking through town with a few friends on the way to a dinner. The news was heavy. My Italian was not well honed at that time, but the television at the bar was turned on. Everyone sitting with me, except me understood war in a much more intimate way than I did.

The East coast of Italy was the Italian front of WWII. The town we were in has been almost completely evacuated because of constant fighting and bombing just 60 years earlier. Everyone at the table had parents and uncles and aunts who lived (if the did survive) through war.

Just 6 or so weeks after the towers fell in NY, the notion of the war on terror was a global reality. When our conversation began, I expected to hear fear, anger, hate. Something very different happened. The conversation came after a moment of silence to both absorb the reality of the images we were seeing, but also to mourn the hell that was being unleashed on the people of Afghanistan. We began to talk about the roots of this conflict. I was mostly observing the discussion while trying to negotiate my own powerful emotions.

I can only say I left that table stunned. Here were 8 or so average Italian folk talking about this situation, and I didn’t hear blame as much as I heard them discuss history. This was done very passionately and intensely, they were Italian after all.

They were free to talk about the history of the second world war and global power shifts. They discussed the Cold War and relationship to global economic structures and dependencies that grew out of that. They did not diminish or disrespect the lives lost in NY or the lives about to be taken in the Middle East. It was a powerful lesson about traumatic moments. If our conversation about Brussels in the news could include some of this kind of reflection, I would feel better about what my own country and culture are offering the world in the face of this violence.

How can this inform the way I engage myself and others in relationships closer to home? How in moments of trauma can I position myself to both stay present to bring healing without quickly and irrationally sourcing blame? How can my actions be prayers for peace in the face of all the violence we are experiencing at home and abroad?